What am I writing? More importantly why am I writing? What justify/justifies my right/obligation/urge to be moving my fingers on my Lenovo laptop and keying in a series of characters loosely bound together by linguistic rules according to my poor understanding. What determines my role in this modest little virtual space in this rhizomatic infinitely growing network, the gigantic monster of Babel which is now known as the Internet?  How dare I analyze, remember, or even, to do the unspeakable, predict? I don’t understand/know anything.

These are the questions I have been asking myself, just now when I was watching Diving bell and the butterfly. I’m a decidedly inpatient person, but somehow I did not exert my control on the progression of the film by dragging the media player button. It was a very good film.

Then after the film I called my Dad.

* * * * *

Sonia was doing some group assignment with another five people from her class. The topic has got something to do with teamwork spirit, which suggests that the power of the team exceeds that of the arithmetic sum of the individuals.

I was honored enough to design a quick logo for this group of six.

	I rarely feel happy about anything I do but this seems to be a satisfactory result giving that I was still half asleep when informed with the assignment. Sonia was happy too. That’s what’s important. Well, the name of their team, which I convenient borrowed from my studio group this semester, is so powerful that it can mean anything.

* * * * *

The current economic problem that bothers me so much that I almost feel nauseous thinking about it. As soon as the Obama government put down the signature on a bail-out plan that exerted majority control over the much troubled AIG, the company immediately paid out the money to their executives, especially those who are working in the Credit Default Swaps division,  responsible for bringing the AIG to the deep trouble in the first place.

People are angry, but the government cannot do anything because the potential legal actions would have resulted in more damages and legal expenditure than the money they paid out.

I understand the pay out. It’s perfectly smart, logical and legal. But overnight my faith in capitalism was almost shattered and strangely strengthened at the same time. It has become so predictable. The recent events simply display no American spirit, liberalism, or unexpected altruism. It has come to this point where bankers are simply no more sophisticated than porn-watching wankers in suits.

on making an all-or-nothing choice

Our incredible friend S, who rather sadly seems to be the only one I know who plays music, has just recently purchased on cash a new digital piano. As similar to a lot of other all-or-nothing financial decisions of considerable magnitude, the choice was difficult to make simply due to the variety of choices available.

An expensive piano has amazing sound qualities, and it also has considerable re-sale value, when the owner has had enough of it, but of course the problem is that it is more expensive; a cheaper one, on the other hand, is most difficult to re-sell, and the sounds are terrible, but then you inevitably have the self-doubt about whether you will actually spend a lot of time on the expensive piano "this time", as opposed to all those years you have abandoned the art and craft of it. Between these two extremes there are a whole spectrum of choices, not to mention the consideration of colour, design, and fancy functionalities that vary greatly from piece to piece.

There is also the consideration of time, which involves questions like "should I buy it right here, right now, or should I wait for the factory sale of another place another time?", "should I buy it now when the dollar is cheap, or should I wait for it to go even lower?"

The solution should be relatively simple, assuming that we are aiming to get the most all of the decision. It is what the decision is about, all, or nothing. You should either go all in and buy the most expensive piano that, one, makes you happy, and two, can be afforded by your budget, or you should feed your financial security by keeping all the cash.

Buying something in the middle, assuming you can afford 2000 dollars and you have spent 1000 on the piano, would mean that if later you can't stand the sound of the keyboard you cannot improve your happiness by buying another piano priced at 1000. It just doesn't work that way.

What if you have now spent all your 2000 precious dollars and find out that there is something very very similar (but slightly less as good) priced at 1500? Aren't you supposed to feel bad about losing 500 dollars (a month's rent)? The answer is no. As a piano is not simply a gold bar, or a bucket of wheat, or a tonne of copper (which is called Commodities), it is in fact more than the accumulation of sound technology and craftmanship (which is called Services). A piano at the same time priceless and worthless, it is an experience (individual and collective perception).

As a result of paying 500 dollars more than you would have otherwise done, you practise more, you love your piano more, you are more proud of it, and you are more willing to play it to your friends, which all enhances the experience. You know that this 2000 dollar piano is not as nice as the 2500 dollar model which has yet more functions and better sound quality, but that's all you could afford so there was no regret. After playing a few months you realize it's really a smart choice as it worths much more than you would have valued the 2000 dollars (which could have been spent on shoes now that you would have been less happy and gone shopping more). And you are definitely more than happy with the choice that you didn't buy the 1000 dollar model, even though 1000 sounded hugely expensive as well the first time you heard it.

Having this story in mind, take a look at the articles below.

Paul Krugman
TPM
Washington Post

It has become something like a homework thing to read the various articles on Wall Street Journal and NY Times before I goto bed. And sometimes an article will come up and you'd be so annoyed that some people just don't get it.

See Article

First of all this is not a recession, this is a depression. There are thousands of ways to technically define a depression but the truth is if you have a million dollars in hand right now chances are you do not dare to put it in long term investments such as the housing market, or short term such as stocks, and let me guess you probably wouldn't want to put it in oil or even gold, let alone starting a new industrial company that does green technology. Some people will buy government bonds, some people will test their luck in the stock market but nothing too dramatic. The thing is, if no one is investing the way for tomorrow, there won't be a bright one. Trust me, this is a depression.

Second of all, 14 more months? Are you fucking kidding me? A monetary speculation of some Asian country lasts 14 months, a small political unrest lasts 14 months, a financial crisis caused by global credit crunch does not last 14 months, it will have the impact that will last for a century, like the last Depression did, and we will experience the major impact of it in the five to ten years to come, at least. 14 months? By then the governments would be running out of means and reserves to save their economies, that would be the time when the depression actually STARTs. So hold your breath CFOs, whatever that means.

p.s. just because the economy is in deep trouble doesn't mean that we should be too, troubles means reshuffling of world order, we should actually benefit from this whole turmoil, if we are not too stupid. Look at it this way, no good positions in any companies would have been available if the people in them are not fired, right?

Yet another wonderful deed aimed to save the environment.
Refer to the Economist's special report on a German town called Sieben linden, where people put consumption and waste a top issue on their collective conscience.

Economist Article

It's all very good. I always fail to explain myself clearly enough on issues of philanthropy and environmental issues, probably because I'm not entirely sure of it myself. Or worst still, the people who are actively involved, failed to convince me as I'm not quite sure if they know what they are doing.

On the Sieben Linden eco-town issue. For the people who live in the town, it's nice and comfortable, and doing something like this feeds their conscience well. But for the rest of humanity, it's almost pointless. Repeat, other than an interesting intellectual exercise, it's almost pointless.

Germany is one of the most developed industrial countries in the world, and they get here by creating and exporting wonderful machines, those powerful engines who create the main pollutants of the world. I'm not using the same sentimental judgement on the environmentalists, but the fact is, without the abundance of wealth and technology accumulated over the decades, this place called Sieben Linden would never have come into existence.

It doesn't matter how Utopian a life the eco villagers live, they are living under the social wellfare system of Germany, and they are educated by the wonderful German education system. Hence they created this town by choice, not by necessity; which is another way of saying they get what they want and not what they need. African villages do the same kind of things, but out of necessity, they are too poor to do otherwise; they are not as inspiring as an eco message because, well, they are not Germans who choose to abandon their BMWs, but in terms of sustainability and innovation it's much much more respectable.

One may think that it's ok to pursue what they want if the subject is something good for the planet; tell that to the banks and investment funds and insurance companies who invented the great mathematical tool to combine toxic assets and create AAA bundles, just a couple years ago they must have been thinking they are doing the humanity a favour by utilizing economic resources that would otherwise have been lying around doing nothing.

The truth is, reality is simple, having been pretty much the same for millions of years; humanity is simple, too, having commited pretty much the same mistakes for thousands of years. But when the later tries to intervene with the former with their limited wisdom and means, complicated and unforeseeable results will come about. Think recycling bins in some cities where the gabbage ended up in exactly the same piles as the rest; think solar panels and wind technologies that inspired forward thinking capitalists to invest heavily on, only to coincide with this God forsaken depression, with oil price a third of what it was last year; think the healthy way of diets, inspired restaurants like Wagamama, with its tasteless low fat and high fibre menu, closing down like mad when people, after another day of gloomy market results, attracted by the heavenly smells of pure fat from China Town.

Think George Bush, wanting to grab control of some oil, ended up burning dollars in trunks of trillions.

the difference between being in a plague and just being human

An incident happened in C's mini today. S started to scratch her arms, suspicious of bug or mosquito invasion. One of a few things could be true. S could have gotten the bites before she went into the car, she could have gotten it in the car, or she could have gotten it ages ago but did not notice until she was in the car. But in any case, sitting next to her I saw the reaction of S, and I, having experienced itchiness before, started to feel, or maybe not, something. When C asked if anyone felt their eyes itchy, I immediately responded. Subconsciously I was already suspecting being the victim of a certain infection that was originated in the mini.

These may well all be true, but on the other hand, it may well all be psychological. People do throw up when they see other people throw up, people do get turn on when they watch porn (watch the action, feel the itch), similarly, other things like advertising, or market reactions, all work on similar patterns.

This is called being human.

Think about the alternative, what if there is indeed some sort of infection in C's mini and we are all, with different symptoms, infected. S's reaction is a healthy alarm that warns all three of us the danger, encouraging us to seek for solution, e.g. in the form of medical assistance. But having lived 20 odd years we all tend to not make a fuss about small things like these, so we bear with it, we tell our minds that it's just psychological and chemicals are generated to block our bodies' reception to the itchy signals. But the fact is that we are all infected, possibly with something serious.

The next day, when I and C feel the itch on our arms when we wake up and start scratching, we both tell ourselves that it was probably the pancakes that we ate the night before, or still, lingering psychological effects from yesterday's experience.

And then the itchiness disappeared. And without thinking about it, we all travel in the same mini again. and again. and again.

Until one day I died. Suddenly. Allegedly without warning.
The doctors were confused. There was no diagnosis, not yet. But in the mind of C and S they both well know what the hell is going on and they panicked, really really, panicked.

Some people say we have already seen the worst of the financial crisis. That is like saying that, in this little shitty story of mine, we've seen the worst after I died.


And of course, there is also the possibility that C's itchy eyes, S's itchy arms, and my death, are mutually unrelated events. What the doctors can do, as a result, are, at the best, guess work.

Good luck with our banks.

Bored. M - A - X Bored.

Saw Casino Royale with the guys the other night, apparently the bad guy's name is Le Chiffre, which sounds like Le GF, and I'm not suggesting any connection between the two.

Been listening to Bloomberg radio recently, it's almost funny. The American way of economic analysis is somwhere between a talkshow and a political speech, and I think someone mentioned something like this "oh, is this bad, no it is not bad enough yet, cos it ain't gonna be better and we ain't seen nothin yet, there will be BLOOD on the wall, there will be Blood on the ceiling, there will be Blood on the ground, there will be BLOOD everywhere" Which just feeds my scepticism about the whole american-ism and the well-dressed high street, i.e. most of them need to read more.

Speaking of which, Warren Buffet is a god, if not the god, in investments, the only thing that i can't understand is his choice of cherry coka cola as his favourate drink. I mean, coke is fine as long as he doesn't do his lines too often but cherry? Maybe it has some secret minerals in it that keep you from turning stupid, you know.

On a more serious issue, apparently some Asian countires have been talking about setting up an alternative to IMF, International Monetary Funds, an Asian version that specifically to suit the needs for Asian countries. What IMF does normally is, collects money from its member countries and uses it to assist other countries where there is need for an injection of cash (sounds familiar?), but based on the Bretton Woods system that was designed for Westerners by the Westerners, it did not really address the socio-political pictures in Asia, and judging by how well the Westerners are doing recently, Asia is playing its card, which is a good sign I guess, for the re-shuffling of the cards, will the world be divided into the trinity? Thou shall hope so.

Now, all eyes on the newly elected American president. Some say he's the hope, some say he's not going to change anything, I say sell US dollars and buy Chinese RMB. In my alternative parallel universe, Bush would have been elected this year and Obama would have been elected eight years ago, in which case both would have served their talents better.

Obama looks like an action driven kind of guy, who pays attention to details, because he's from a minority group and it was the attention to forgotten details that got him to where he is today, he would have been a good president in the last eight years of economic booms, he might even have prevented the meltdown. Bush on the other hand, is stupid, there's nothing wrong with it if one uses his stupidity strategically in the right context, now is the right time, for no logic nor wisdom can solve the problems as those that US is facing right now.

Oh, I heard the State of California is going broke. The essential problem for America is that it's too big and too liberal at the same time. If one is just big, like China, you are holding up fine, but if one has both qualities it is not going to solve anything because there are too many failed body parts that are asking for medical attention, the banks, the motor industry, health care, blahblahblah. I've become more patriotic as the day goes by, as the Chinese big shots would say, ok, everybody needs to chill, remember if all else fails we still have three trillion US dollars to throw away.

Apparently the new James Bond film which has been widely criticised for its lack of bed scenes and narrative strength turns out to be the most relevant of all Bond films. Ghana's government was forced by the World Bank to privatized its water companies, which resulted in the general decline in the water service in the nation due to the extremely low efficiency in working progress compressed by the lack of economic benefits. Families from rural areas have to travel miles and spend more than half of their daily incomes on drinkable water. There's no Mr. Bond in the picture but the World Bank does get condemnation that it's hypocritical, forbiding foreign countries to socialize their utilities industry to satisfy even the most basic human needs, but when it comes to high street, there's no hesitation to socialize their own banks.(refers to BBC Business Daily 021208)
I guess in times like these one should be grateful for things that one always takes for granted, and finds un quantum of solace from the re-assured knowledge that when one does turn on the tap today, he would still get the running water.

i've been trying to write something meaningful in the last few days.
but le girl friend has been occupying my mind to its full capacity, which is a good thing.

Have been reading Henri Lefebvre these couple of days. Have given Marxism some new thoughts. We grew up believing in what was told about Marxism. Now that i'm older and much more synical, some concepts need to be revisited. I think it's safe to say that i'm a freak.

Last night we were trashing aida's place to play Wii. I'm so getting one.